Interview With Renowned Psychic
By Sonny California
We met with renowned psychic to the stars Lilly Wise in her home on the
Malibu coast. Dressed in a shimmering silk bathrobe, Ms. Wise offered us
coffee and fruit, and sat us comfortably on her patio lounge chairs.
SC: Ms. Wise, what does it take to be a psychic to the stars?
LW: That's not really the question you wanted to ask me, is it, Sonny?
SC: No, it isn't. Actually, I wanted to know how you can afford such a
LW: Money is nothing but stored up energy, and all energy is under the
control of our mind and spirit. If you feel you honestly deserve
something, and if your mind and spirit direct themselves toward it, you
will achieve or acquire it. I saw this house a few years ago, and it
just came to me.
SC: How can there be enough money in psychic work to buy such an
LW: I know what you really mean, and the simple fact is that my clients
love what I do for them, and want me to be happy. Since this house makes
me happy, my clients helped me to live here.
SC: I see. So ... what's going to happen in the coming year?
LW: Actually, you're interested in whether your novel will sell to that
big publisher who expressed interest last week. The sad answer, no, he
won't buy it. But an editor at another publishing house will see your
novel and commission you to ghost write a celebrity autobiography.
You'll clean up from it.
SC: Really? Which celebrity?
LW: If I told you that, it might spoil the fun. Besides, you're going to
publish this interview on the Internet, and that kind of information is
better kept "behind the scenes," if you know what I mean.
SC: So what can you predict for this interview?
LW: I wish you'd stop covering up your true desires by asking me these
conventional questions. Later today, you'll get a speeding ticket when
you least expect it. And your brother will make a strange request. You
won't believe what he's asking you to do!
SC: What are you talking about?
LW: Of course, you're going to do what he asks. You can't refuse. You
still feel that you "owe" him for that escapade he helped you with.
"South of the border," if you know what I mean.
SC: How did you hear about that?
LW: No, Lucy didn't tell me about it for this interview, as you're
guessing she did. I picked it out of your mind just now. But I can also
see that you're going through a period of being unlucky in love. The
next few years are going to be very stressful. But ultimately, you'll
settle down with a woman you already know, but don't think of
romantically just yet.
SC: Can we get back to the interview now?
LW: We could, if you wanted to. But you're desperately interested in
knowing more about this woman. She's average height, I can tell you,
with brown hair and brown eyes. She has a quick smile and she has always
been very nice to you.
LW: That's not the one.
SC: Can we please ....
LW: You're right. You shouldn't have worn those underpants today.
They're torn. You think I don't know these things?
SC: .... uh ....
LW: You could have had breakfast here, you know. You didn't have to stop
in that cheesy café along the road. But since you did, why did you leave
such a chintzy tip? That poor waitress has a sick child.
SC: How do you know where I had breakfast?
LW: Oh, damn. There's a lady walking by on the road and she's looking
forward to spending the afternoon with her boyfriend. Wait'll she finds
out where he was last night! I wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall of
SC: Can I ask you....
LW: All right. I'll stop giving you answers to questions you don't ask.
But honestly, the questions you've written down to ask me are boring. So
that's the end of this interview. I show you out. But don't worry, doll.
I can see that next time, you'll do much better.