Are You Compatible Enough To
by Robert Moskowitz
Marriage is among the most important and wonderful institutions on the
planet Earth. Two people who find each other and commit to a loving
relationships can soar to heights of happiness, mutual satisfaction, and
personal growth that would be almost entirely unattainable for one
But a marriage that goes bad can bring an enormous amount of misery, and
prevent personal growth or even create psychological and emotional
problems that can inhibit happiness for a long time afterwards.
That's why it's important that two people who feel themselves to be "in
love" should take a long hard look at themselves, their partner, and
their relationship before tying the knot.
To help you look deeper than the surface, here are few statements for you
to consider, openly and honestly, with your partner, before you walk
down the aisle together. How you feel about them, how your partner feels
about them, and how the two of you approach and work out the inevitable
differences in your feelings about them, will help you prepare for and
establish a healthy, nurturing, satisfying marriage:
- Although I love my partner, my own needs and desires are always more
important than his/hers.
- Even the most loving relationship cannot endure conflict.
- I am so averse to arguing with my partner that I'll hold back almost
anything I might want to say or do.
- I love my partner because he/she always tries his/her hardest to make
- Most of the time, I feel loved only when my partner is telling me "I
- What are you feelings about each of these issues? How well do they
mesh with the feelings of your intended partner?
- When my partner doesn't respond to my sexual advances, I feel hurt, or
angry, shamed, or embarrassed.
- When the two of us "become one," that "one" will mostly be me.
- Whenever things are not perfect between us, I begin to feel insecure
about his/her love for me.